


The Screwed-up Letter

by Charles_Rockafellor



Series: Out of time [2]
Category: Deadpool inspired - Fandom, Dr Who inspired
Genre: Deadpool - Freeform, Meta, Thoan, Time Lord, Vorlon, crack-fic, tvtropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:41:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27329722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charles_Rockafellor/pseuds/Charles_Rockafellor
Summary: The classic crack-character is either overused or left unused, and best if used with a very light hand.  Here we have an approximate equivalent of a Time Lord encounter Metarch -- a Deadpool-like character who can walk between frames in the comic, use the literal frames themselves to grab onto for leverage, read the end of the story, edit text, pull characters in from other fics, etc..𝑫𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆, 𝑺𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒆, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑺𝒖𝒃𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒆! ❤️
Series: Out of time [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995391
Kudos: 1
Collections: Icewall





	The Screwed-up Letter

**Author's Note:**

> You might have landed here by accident, and hence be wondering about the sharp change in character POV. If you _began_ with “[The Space Orcs are coming, hooray, hooray!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27063373/chapters/66076930)” (a Space Orcs romance of sorts), and then read “[Heart of the GNACHO](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27103411)”, then you were reading the “ **[Tell me more about this Earth-thing](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975186)** ” series, and your next Space Orcs story should have been “[When in Rome](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27193691/chapters/66422087)”. After the GNACHO fork, the story that you're in right now (somewhat of a crack-fic, inspired by Dr. Who and Deadpool), “The Screwed-up Letter”, is concurrent with “Cauchy” ( _chapter one_ of “When in Rome”) in the reading order, but along a parallel track: it's in the “ **[Out of time](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995391)** ” series, and gives a little insight into Cauchy's strange world.  
>  From the incident described herein, one can infer that both Cauchy and the Deadpool-inspired being are of uncertain but rather advanced level; for a related study of scaling characters' relative power levels in writing and games, please see “[Superheroes: Powers and Principalities](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371374)”, for a related study of scaling characters' relative power levels in writing and games.
> 
> **N.B.:** For a more sober non-crackfic look at Cauchy's origins, see the Qhalqhal in “[Nothing's gonna change my world”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24380977); likewise, the prior-mentioned “Cauchy” (chapter one of “When in Rome”) gives you a much more filled out idea of Cauchy's approach to things.
> 
> If you wish to subscribe to the **crackfic** series, then you should click the series “[𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995391)” (top of page) and SUBSCRIBE THERE to the series altogether, and not to this story in particular.
> 
>   
> 
> 
> * * *

Turning from the latest putting out of fires, Cauchy took a moment to relax, only to find a note in his pocket, which was odd, since he didn't wear pockets. The enclosing envelope bore only his name and the presumable author's: _Metarch_.

Manifesting a cup of tea and a plateful of shortbread sugar cookies, he opened the envelope.

Reading the note didn't take terribly long, but he found it quite involving nonetheless. It related that this Metarch knew Cauchy's nature and actions and thought that he's been doing a great job of things, encouraging him to keep it up. Following his signature were the letters RDM, with a parenthetical note that read “ _Retired Dungeon Master_.” After that, he had added a P.S. about “ _the Space Orc thing_ ”; he thought that the Cthulhu schtick was a bit O.T.T., but was a huge fan of the Fourth Doctor – and then there was a P.P.S. asking if he had been keeping abreast of the Zelda and Peach situation.

Oh, this _was_ interesting, and interesting was _always fun_ ! It wasn't often that anyone left him notes. Honestly, there just weren't all that many people who even had his address.

He consulted an Encyclopædia Krustallosica. Finding nothing was hardly a surprise. They were very late editions, even his earliest copy, and were typically fragmented accounts with little correlation between them. Yes, he had arranged for these to be consolidated, but they really were still rather limited in that they tapped into low- and mid-level sources – Æsir, Grey, Kryptonian, Anunnaki, Jötnar, Nephilim, Titan, Avatar, and so forth on the one hand; Atlantean, Deva, Asura, Lemurian, Ōkami, et cetera on the other. Fairly well read in every case, of course, and you could never tell what local sources might turn up, but still very small ponds.

His comprehensive Trantorica bore nothing either though, and that bore some consideration. Being a hacked copy of the comprehensive version should make everything available of the entire Imperial Trantoric data, after all, right down to the metadata histories. This carried all of the material up to the last femtosecond of the Golden Age, and linked to each moment of the period, that of the Ringworld Engineers.

Querying the Encyclopædia Psionica, he ran into yet another wall. Very interesting indeed. There was only one version in existence, as there ever had been and ever would be, and very little was hidden from it, even the secrets of the Thoan monad engines. In fact, only Ljósálfar should be able to remain obscured, and even then only those of the events long ago in the distant future that isn't.

In each case, the informational reach was orders of magnitude greater, but this also served to make the research exponentially more of a pain.

At last, he dug through the Encyclopædia Akashica, this not simply woven _into_ the fabric of existence, but in fact _being_ that very existence itself, bearing witness even to the “first eternity” of the Qhalqhal time before time and more, beyond even the Principalities' multiversal cognition, accessing instead the “Big Omega” – or at least the Hilbert streams of Tào Dreamtime, which were as near as to amount to the same, and well past aleph two, several iterations deep in the analogy of a topological Long Line (a long line of long lines of long lines of...). Dredging forth the entry, Cauchy was stunned. Undated (this wasn't entirely accurate though, as the timestamp wasn't exactly a blank entry as such: it read “ _Pancakes or waffles?_ ”) – a literal physical impossibility, even for a Ljósálf – the entry on Metarch stood at a single sentence: “ _Mostly harmless_.” In fact, leaning closer to sniff at it, it didn't even bear the same subquantum signature as reality, that certain something that all things shared – other than Yggdrasil, of course – as if this entry itself were outside of the range of reality factors of all things (again: excepting Yggdrasil, the reality factor of which this entry apparently was beyond as well); moreover, the very _handwriting_ , as it were, didn't match that of the rest of the Encyclopædia.

Pausing, he reached for the note that had begun this wild goose chase – or red herring chase, more like.

Sure enough, the scent and handwriting were a perfect match for those of the entry, right down to the smiley face at the end. It also now ended with “ _FNORD_ ,” which he was quite certain hadn't been there before.

Well played now. Very good indeed: the game was afoot! ☺️ ****

**O ~~~ O**

**Author's Note:**

>  **N.B.:** For a more sober non-crackfic look at Cauchy's origins, see the Qhalqhal in “[Nothing's gonna change my world”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24380977); likewise, “[Cauchy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27193691/chapters/66422087)” (chapter one of “When in Rome”) gives you a much more filled out idea of Cauchy's approach to things.


End file.
